“There’s only one hell, Princess. The one we live in now.”
After 3 seasons of wreaking havoc as the cruel boy King, Joffrey is finally put a stop to in season 4 episode 2, The Lion And The Rose. Of course as one tyrant falls another rises. In the North Ramsay Snow continues his games of torture and murder with his now loyal serving man “Reek.”
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Ramsay and Myranda ride through the forest on a “hunt” while Theon, now Reek, hobbles behind them. The two taunt Ramsay’s former lover, Tansy, as they chase her down. Myranda’s arrow strikes Tansy’s leg rendering her unable to escape. Myranda, obviously jealous of the girl’s relationship with Ramsay, longs to put an arrow through her face so it won’t be as pretty. Ramsay stops her though, saying the dogs deserve a reward for tracking her. A disturbed Theon looks on as the dogs savagely attack.
Ramsay Snow earns 2 Morghulis points for ordering the death of Tansy.
Myranda earns 1 Wound point for hitting Tansy with her arrow.
Tansy receives -1 Wound point for being hit by Myranda’s arrow and -5 Death points for being killed by Ramsay’s dogs.
In King’s Landing Tyrion chides Jaime for his sulking. Jaime admits he can no longer fight with the loss of his hand. He has tried to switch to his left hand, but his instincts are all wrong. He laments that he cannot protect the King if he cannot fight. Tyrion suggests training, but Jaime fears it would become known how useless with a sword. Tyrion notes that he needs a swordsman who can be trusted to stay quiet and just so happens to know one. Jaime attends his first training session with Bronn far from the eyes and ears of the rest of the court.
Jaime Lannister earns 3 Alliance points for agreeing to be trained by Bronn.
Bronn earns 3 Alliance points for agreeing to train Jaime.
Tyrion Lannister earns 3 Alliance points for brokering the arrangement between Jaime and Bronn.
Back north, Ramsay welcomes home his father, Roose, and new stepmother, Walda. Roose pointedly introduces Ramsay as his bastard to his new bride. Before heading inside Ramsay congratulates Locke on removing the hand of the Kingslayer. Presented with the newly christened Reek, Roose makes his displeasure known. Theon had been heir to the Iron Islands, Roose had planned to use him to force Balon Greyjoy’s men to retreat from Moat Cailin. Roose is further displeased when Ramsay reveals he already sent terms and Balon refused. Ramsay explains that Theon was their enemy but Reek is different. He demonstrates by forcing Reek to shave him as he informs him of Robb Stark’s death at the hands of Roose, and Reek does not disappoint never once moving to strike him. Ramsay also prompts Theon into explaining that he had not killed the Stark boys, and they may still be alive. Roose directs Locke to find them as they could be a threat to the Bolton’s claim. Reek offers they may have gone to their half-brother at Castle Black.
Theon “Reek” Greyjoy earns 3 Alliance points for his obedience to Ramsay.
Ramsay Snow earns 3 Alliance points for Reek’s loyalty.
As Tyrion makes his way to breakfast with the King, Varys approaches him and informs that Shae has been noticed. He warns that Tywin will question her background, Tyrion asks him to lie, but Varys flatly refuses remarking that Tywin and Cersei would not allow him to live long should they question his loyalty. He warns Tyrion to remove Shae quickly before his father makes good on his threat to hang the next whore he finds in his bed.
In preparation for the royal wedding, gifts are presented to Joffrey. His father in law to be, Mace Tyrell, presents him with a fine goblet. Cersei leans over to her father pointing out Shae as “the whore I told you about.” Tyrion then presents his gift, a thick tome entitled the Lives Of Four Kings, Joffrey surprises him by humbly thanking his uncle. Tywin the presents his grandson with the second valyrian steel sword made from Ned Stark’s Ice. Joffrey names the blade Widow’s Wail and then tests it by slicing the book Tyrion gave him to pieces.
Joffrey Baratheon earns 3 Honors points for being bestowed a valyrian steel sword.
Tyrion meets with Shae in his chambers. She is pleased he has summoned her, but he rebuffs her affections. He tells her their time together has ended. She refuses to leave because they love each other. Seeing no other option, Tyrion degrades her calling her a whore not fit to bare his children while Sansa is. Devastated Shae leaves with Bronn.
Shae receives -3 Betrayal points for Tyrion’s dismissal.
On Dragonstone Melisandre sacrifices unbelievers among Stannis’ men. His wife Selyse is thrilled by the proceedings, seeing in them the work of god, regardless of the fact that one seems to be her own brother. Davos is far more skeptical, noting Stannis’ brother-in-law brought many men and ships to his cause. Later Selyse, Stannis, and Melisandre share an awkward dinner. The conversation turns to the Princess Shireen, Selyse suggests Melisandre speak to the girl as Selyse believes her to be “stubborn and sinful.” Shireen proves to be less easily manipulated than her mother, asking pointed questions and not easily quelled my Melisandre’s responses.
Melisandre earns 1 Morghulis point and 1 Magic point for the sacrifice to her god.
Beyond the Wall Jojen wakes Bran from his direwolf’s skin. Jojen warns of the dangers of spending too much time in the animal’s skin. With time he will become savage, forget his home, his family, and himself. “And if we lose you, we lose everything.” The suddenly come to a large weirwood tree. Bran asks to be taken to it and when he places his hand on it he seems to warg into the tree. He is assaulted with visions, but throughout a clear voice speaks, the Three Eyed Raven, “Look for me…” and Bran sees where they must go.
Bran Stark earns 2 Magic point for warging into Summer and his weirwood visions.
Three Eyed Raven earns 1 Magic point for communicating to Bran through the weirwood tree.
In King’s Landing Joffrey and Margaery are married in the Great Sept and Margaery becomes Queen of the Seven Kingdoms. On their way to the wedding feast Olenna and Tywin speak. She mentions the crown’s debt to the Iron Bank of Braavos, Tywin says he is unconcerned, but Olenna remarks that he is too smart to take the Iron bank lightly. On the dais, Bronn assures Tyrion that Shae is on a ship sailing for the free cities. Lady Olenna approaches Sansa fixing her hair. She tells Tyrion he must bring his new bride to Highgarden now that the war is ending.
Joffrey Baratheon earns 3 Alliance points for marrying Margaery.
Margaery Tyrell earns 3 Alliance points for marrying Joffrey and 3 Crowned points for becoming Queen of the seven kingdoms.
As the festivities continue various barbs are exchanged among the Westerosi elite. Joffrey makes a spectacle by introducing a troop of jousting dwarfs dressed as the 5 Kings of Westeros. Sansa and the Tyrells are horrified. When the jouster representing Joffrey wins the King attempts to force Tyrion to fight him. Tyrion is able to thwart the request, but Joffrey is not done. He pours his cup over his uncle’s head then commands him to be his cupbearer. Tyrion tries to downplay the situation declaring it would be his honor, his nephew responds that it was not meant as one. Margaery is able to defuse the situation announcing the arrival of the wedding pie.
Sansa and Tyrion attempt to leave the feast, but Joffrey commands his uncle to serve him wine to wash down the pie. Tyrion hands the goblet to Joffrey and he quickly drains it. He tries to speak, but becomes overtaken by coughing. He grabs his throat, and Margaery yells he is choking Joffrey collapses face down and begins vomiting and convulsing while Jaime struggles to move him with one hand. Cersei rushes through the crowd and turns him on his back. Dontos Hollard suddenly approaches Sansa from behind and says she must come with him. Joffrey’s eyes turn red, blood runs from his nose, he stops convulsing, and dies. Cersei lets out a wail then looks to her younger brother and commands the Kingsguard to seize Tyrion for the murder of their King.
Joffrey Baratheon receives -5 Death points for being poisoned.
Cersei Lannister earns 1 Capture point for imprisoning Tyrion.
Tyrion Lannister receive -1 Capture point for being imprisoned.
Sansa Stark earns 3 Alliance points for trusting Dontos Hollard.
Dontos Hollard earns 3 Alliance points for earning Sansa’s trust.